


The Most Important Thing in the World

by ThatSnarkyDragon



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, FitzSimmons Secret Santa, the ocean scene reworked, what if, what if it were simmons and not fitz that realized they were in love first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 11:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5584585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatSnarkyDragon/pseuds/ThatSnarkyDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Simmons realized her feelings before Fitz? The ocean scene reworked. Fitzsimmons secret santa for michygeary on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Most Important Thing in the World

It was almost completely silent in the pod. Had it not been at the bottom of the ocean, it would have been a comfortable, peaceful silence. As it was, though, it was a tense, painful silence that surrounded the two inhabitants of the pod. These people were best friends, partners, geniuses, heroes – and they were probably going to die.

It wasn’t a terrible way to die, really. Well, it was, but it certainly wasn’t bad company. Fitzsimmons – two halves of a whole, everyone saw them that way. Best friends, partners in the lab, practically inseparable. Not to mention that supposedly drowning is a rather pleasant way to die, once the water’s in your lungs.

The first law of thermodynamics. That was what Jemma thought of at this moment. Energy is not destroyed or created, and that was sort of comforting, all things considered. With the first law of thermodynamics and her best friend with her, it would be alright if she died. And that’s what she said. Well, really just the thermodynamics part. Fitz knew they were best friends. And then Fitz mentioned monkeys, and Jemma had to hold back tears that burned her eyes and choked her throat.

“You know, it’s fitting that we’re down here,” she mentioned, purposefully leaving off the next word – _together_ – when she finally felt able to speak without showing any of the guilt and despair she was feeling, “where life began.”

And then they sat in silence a while, and Jemma thought about saying something else, but held it back. She wasn’t going to ruin this. She wasn’t going to die right after trying to start something. She made it a point to finish anything she started, and she knew if they died, she wouldn’t have the chance. _They_ wouldn’t have the chance.

And then at some point after that (neither of them really wanted to count the minutes until they died, though Jemma was _definitely_ counting down to when they’d run out of oxygen anyway), it was suddenly okay. They could blast out the window, they could use the oxygen tank to get enough breath to swim up, they _would_ survive, and –

“You’ve got to take it,” Fitz insisted. “I’ve done the calculations, there’s only enough for one of us, and you’re the stronger swimmer. Not to mention…” he gestured at his broken arm.

All the guilt and hopelessness that had been built up inside of Jemma before the rush of figuring a way out rushed back and seemed to multiply. Tears were building up again, choking her, burning her throat and her eyes and her heart and – “No, I can’t. I can’t just leave you here.” It wouldn’t be long before her tears broke through.

“Then if you can, pull me up with you.” Fitz seemed to be holding back his own emotions, though not particularly effectively. He was scared. “But it’s better that one of us survives rather than neither, and I’m certainly not going to make the swim myself. It’s…” he choked off for a moment. “It’s logical.”

And with that, the dam broke and all of Jemma’s forced back tears rushed out. Not really thinking, she closed the space between them and gripped him tightly. “I won’t leave you behind, Fitz, you’re my best friend in the world!” she almost continued, but Fitz cut her off.

“If you can’t pull me up, don’t try,” Fitz choked out, his face in her hair. “You’ve got to at least…”

But Jemma cut him off. “No way am I leaving you, Fitz. No matter what. I…” she paused as a sob escaped her throat. “…I can’t live without you. You’re the most important thing in the world to me, you’re… I… I can’t leave you.” She held her breath as Fitz stopped his, and her heart stopped for a moment. “Fitz, I won’t let you die.” Then, without saying anything else, without really thinking consciously, she forced the oxygen canister into his hand and pushed it towards his face, took a huge breath (though she knew it would be forced out of her lungs anyway, and swam.

They almost didn’t make it. It was a stupid decision, really, and it went against every logical bone in her body (which was all of them), but as Jemma’s lungs burned to the point that she thought they might combust, and as her thoughts became more and more distant and labored, Fitz snapped out of the shock of what she had done and kicked furiously in an attempt to help. They were twenty feet from the surface, then fifteen, then ten, then Jemma stopped moving and Fitz panicked and pulled and kicked as much as he could until they broke the surface. By some miracle, Jemma started breathing and Fitz started shouting for help through the searing pain in his arm until he heard a helicopter. Jemma stirred as Director Nick Fury was apparently alive and saving their lives in the middle of the ocean and then –

“Fitz.”

She wasn’t conscious, but the moment Fitz heard her speak, his heart sped up and he held his breath and remembered what she had said, and suddenly he felt horrible as he lay in the decompression chamber right next to hers.

_You’re the most important thing in the world to me._

Her words rushed into his mind along with a fresh wave of guilt. He should have believed her when she said Ward didn’t really care about them, he should have found another place to hide other than an _ejecting pod_ (thinking back to it, he realized that was a terrible idea). He should have… something. Something other than letting her give him the oxygen and risk her life pulling them both up. He shouldn’t have frozen up when she…

_I can’t live without you._

It wasn’t the words that shocked him, he could say the same. It was the way she had said them, like they were… more than that. Like he was more than that. And Fitz wasn’t sure how he felt about that. And Fitz didn’t want to think about it, though he kept going back to it.

_I can’t leave you._

Through trying to not think about that and worrying endlessly about his unconscious friend (and partner and… what?), the only solid word he could find was _sorry._

_“I’m so sorry, Jemma.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Note for michygeary: I really think Jemma’s always been in love with him too, and the way it turned out in the show is that she didn’t realize/hid it better than Fitz. I just tried to reverse that here, so Fitz is definitely still in love with her, but only half knows it. I will probably continue this story later, tbh, and I’ll @ you if/when I do, if you’d like. I know it’s short, but I hope you enjoyed! Belated Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!
> 
> General note: I was sort of experimenting with this writing style as a way to kind of show how the scene feels as well as exactly what happens. The long sentences and chains of what is happening are intentional, and I tried to make that style contribute to the story. I’d love feedback on how it worked!


End file.
